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You Have Your Dream Job.. Now What?
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You Have Your Dream Job.. Now What?

Mar 5, 2018

So 10 months ago I said goodbye to my corporate job that I had held for 17 years.  I was so inspired and excited.  I had worked so hard and I had finally earned mysef “my dream job.”  I couldn’t wait to roll up my sleeves and dig in to the all the wonderful, glory of working for myself.  I was going to be so productive, so motivated, so inspired.  I was going to finally have time to cook healthy food, go to the gym in the middle of my work day and probably (definately) brag about it on instagram.  I was ready.

Flash forward 10 months and the reality has set in.  It is a grind.  Every single day I think about where my money is coming from.  Every single day I think about how productive I have been.  And here is a truth you may not have seen coming.. I don’t look sexy in sweat pants.  This is NOT going on instagram. 

I am a photographer, yes.  But the amount of time I actually spend shooting is pretty minimal.  I spend most of my time at my desk and it isn’t very glamorous.  Answering client emails, marketing and social media, editing, bookeeping, dealing with vendors, etc.  Some times I sit at my desk from 10am until 2am and on some of the those days the only thing I have to show for it is a sore back and a few items crossed off of my to do list.  Am I getting you excited to go out and become your own boss??? 

If you asked me if I were busy, I would say that I am swamped.  The thing that they don’t tell you about running your own business is that you MUST be one step ahead at all times.  I was on salary for the last 11 years and so I never ever worried about where my money came from.  Most of the time I didn’t think about money at all.  It was always there, there was always enough and there was always more coming.  Now I am emotionally in 2019.  2018 is already in my books and I know how it is going to play out (give or take). 

When people ask me what I do.. I say “I am a photographer.”  But sometimes I want to say “I sit at my computer in dirty sweat pants, eating carbs, wondering how I can drum up some extra business without a sparkly personality.”  Sometimes I want to say “I watch netflix and try to see how long I can go without washing my hair.” Sometimes I want to say "This only works because of my husband's support, his medical, his pay check" (that one is true actually.. I would be a mess without him).

Of course these are all gross exagerations and what I really do is hustle.  I work so hard to make sure that I am working.  I work so hard to grow, expand and create opportunities for myself and for my, small but still very relevant, team.  I work so hard to find new and exciting lanes for my craft and I work hard to keep producing a product that I am proud of.  I am not that different than my corporate self .. I am just doing it all in a different way and for a different gain.  I am doing it for myself.  I am doing it for my sanity.. and I am mostly puliing it off.  But there are some days when I have to shut it all down, go to the movies in the middle of my work day, eat popcorn for dinner and remind myself that I earned it, I deserve it and I am doing ok.

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